I've been afflicted with awful side affects from chemo as most of you know. For the most part my full time job has been to survive the treatment that is being given to save my life. I take that seriously. While its it's depressing at times to miss out on so much, the long term vision is to not miss out the rest of my life.
I am fortunate that the important loves of my life reside with me... all my other friends and family are welcome to visit me... I miss them - I don't judge that they haven't I am a constant reminder of their own mortality I guess.
When I woke up this morning I thanked god that I have another day on his beautiful earth and moved Claire out of my way to take my first steps. I wondered if the mind numbing pain would be there when I stood up ... and no! legs ok. One by one I have checked my afflictions and I have officially turned the corner. I did it! I survived that shit that I have been taking! I am so happy I want to run through my field of daisies but they only exist in the painting tacked up on my wall, lovingly painted by Sophie. Surely painted on a day when she didn't know what to do to ease my suffering. Today I can enjoy it, not just escape to it.
I have more 12 weeks and the chemicals at least will be done. Radiation and the next step of reconstruction will round off the year...
But for today, for this moment and with my loves who have never left my side here online. I share this triumph with a tall glass of milk and Krispy Kreme donut. I feel nothing but gratitude and renewal for my life and my future as long or as short as its meant to be- I know I can climb the highest mountain and even when gasping for breath I can say without hesitation "Its a wonderful life, I'm glad I was here!"
Salud!
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