I have been a soccer mom for many years as my daughter played and now my youngest son. One of the things that makes me the most uncomfortable at games is the behavior of the parents. While I am the first to be cheering and supporting my son and I tend to shy away from the negativity because I do not want him to learn from that behavior.
Blaming the referee is pretty easy to do when often times they make mistakes. I'm not sure if it's lack of experience or lack of professionalism or simply a bad day. It doesn't matter really which it is because our kids are able to play because we have people in that role. We are not competing for the World Cup... yet. But by the nasty things that parents call those poor refs- many which are kids themselves well it just saddens me - you would think they have thousands of dollars riding on each game. I venture to say that the actual complaints filed with the league over the officiating of these games is very low. If someone is doing a crappy job, putting our kids in danger (as is often the complaint) it should be worth our time to complain to their bosses.
There are so many life lessons that are taught by having our kids participate in sports one of them should not be how to blame others. We need to teach them accountability. I can't tell you how many times I've overheard our kids talking about how they didn't win because the refs sucked. Is that honestly what we want our children to learn? how to pass the buck? yes I understand sometimes it is the refs fault or the other team is playing too aggressively but not every single time! sometimes it's just because we didn't play our best or the other team was just a little better. It's okay to lose and say "hey we need to work on our skills a little more so we can come back and beat that team the next time". Instead of always saying "we could've won if it wasn't for the stupid refs or the other team playing dirty."
Yesterday I was leaving the field and walked by the other team parents as they were yelling. The heckles were that our kids were going to kill theirs, that the refs were letting this happen and that our boys were faking injuries and flopping on the ground to create penalties. In absolute fairness I will say that is the exactly the same thing that some parents on our side say... In every single game! Those accusations are being hurled towards the general direction of the referees but within 3 or 4 feet of the children.
For any of you that know me personally I don't even have to say that I am the most protective mama bear there is. But I won't blame every little thing that's happening on the field on everyone else because that's not the case and I do not want my son to learn to that. The one game that I truly lost my temper I lost it at the coach on the other side because she was saying totally unacceptable things to her boys - encouraging them to hit. We reported her to the league.
I will continue to support my child, cheer for my child and correct any things that went wrong with his actions in the game. AS WELL AS PRAISE HIM and ENCOURAGE HIM.
We should say 1000 'good jobs' before we say even 1 'idiot referee".
