March . . .

Its March again. A tough month around my heart, so many powerful emotions to contend with. This one marks 10 years since my father passed away- I really am tip toeing around myself emotionally for fear that I might wake one of the double "D's". I try to let them sleep a perfect hibernation. Despair and Depression- they are like sharks swimming, ever present- just waiting for a drop of blood to hit the water. But I resist, after all there is no reason to give them cause to come around.

 Yet, I do want to acknowledge my memories of March. The good ones, the bad ones, the sad ones too. They are me and denying the sad ones would be as bad as denying the joyful ones- I won't do either. I gave birth to my first child in this month, I lost my father in this month, I married my late husband in this month and I was diagnosed with cancer in this month. People often say "I wouldn't change a thing" and we think surely they don't mean that literally, but as for me I really wouldn't. Not that I could- I believe that I am part of a bigger cosmic plan. It's from every tear of joy as well as sorrow felt that has cleared my vision to it's 20/20 that it is today. It's from the suffering that has made me truly appreciate the smallest detail in every moment. And its been in the loss of those that I have loved most dearly that makes me cherish my children, my family like I never could have if I had been spared the 'March' of years gone by.

 So for you dear friend who may be going through a difficult time right now remember that it is only early spring... the blooms of late summer are so sweet and fragrant you will remember why March had to be, as you enjoy the beauty of those joyful memories you captured or the hard lessons that you learned during winters thaw

... L