Daisies...

This day is the first of two important ones regarding my prognosis. I have an appointment with my breast surgeon this afternoon to discuss the final pathology report from the surgery. We got a pretty complete picture from the info I've already posted but it isn't complete. We will hear the rest today. Plus we get to ask questions on how I'm healing, pain management which has been a big issue and physical therapy for the arm whose nodes where removed. Currently mobility in that arm is a little less than shoulder height and then it feels like my nerves are sewn too tight to reach any higher. The vibrant purple and reds and blues of last week have given way to a more muted palette of greens, yellows and eggplant Across my chest... 

Yesterday I had the last of many scans order by my oncologist such as my abdomen, lungs, liver, pelvis and the grandaddy of torture the MUGA scan of the heart. Which is basically an ultra scan of the different chambers of my heart since one of the chemos I will be on may cause congestive heart failure... This gem of a test consisted of a tech pushing (hard) on my exact spot of the surgical area for an hour. I was so grateful to be done with that before passing out I just imagined fields of daisies... That's my happy place I go to when I can't bare what's happening.

I've been walking through lots and lots of fields of daisies lately.

Joes NYC trip was everything we hoped it would be for him, so glad he got to enjoy it with out much worry. I was able to see his last concert of the school year it was an effort but I didn't go to the daisies not even once... I was too busy being the proudest mom there listening to every note.

Sophie, my heart, buzzed her hair off last weekend. She looks gorgeous- seriously stunning. And her reason for doing it to support me makes it beautiful inside and out. I couldn't be more proud!

My tiny Jack was happy to have my drain tubes all removed so he can give me proper hugs again even if they have to be gentle. Poor guy, he is home today with a fever :(  I dread the chemo days when I won't be the one to take care of him if he gets sick because my immune system will be compromised. But today... I can still baby my baby the best I can!

It's my Aunt Lourdes' birthday today! She has come here to help us and has gotten up with me at all hours to give my husband a break Give me my 2 am pain meds, ice packs, cook for my small army and give us general cheer... As she never comes down to have her coffee without looking like a million bucks. I keep hoping this trait will rub off on me but it's still "basic and too big" is the style of the day for me.

And Kirk, what can I say about such a great partner, husband and truest friend I have ever had. He has seen me at my most vulnerable, allowed me to speak of my death when I needed to and that first 10 days helped bathe me, change my dressings, carried me, let me cry and let my darkest of wit be my sword against the pain. He knows the location of the field of daisies that I go to and like my most loyal soldier will always protect me when I am there because he knows he cannot protect me from what is happening to me here.

Oh and we can't forget mentioning that today is the anniversary of my father in laws miracle last year. It has been one year exactly since his heart stopped and first responders revived him and his wonderful medical staff where guided by a higher power to wake him up and let him come home to us! We shouldn't forget to say thank you for gifts given to us even if time has passed... Those count the most.

I'll let everyone know how today and Monday go. Hopeful there will be nothing but positive news!

Thank you all for everything you have shared with my family!